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When some limpwristed little pussy says they want to take your gun away, "For safety," shove it up their ass sideways.

~~~

Katie Eastham Can u hand in old kitchen knifes to as i dont no what to do with them x
Like · Reply · 2 · September 15 at 12:16pm

Lancashire Police Hi Katie, yes you can hand any knife in, including any kitchen knives you no longer want.
Like · 3 · September 15 at 12:20pm

Trevor Patrick Jones Use it for cooking. You know, what you're supposed to do.
Unlike · 3 · November 5 at 3:17pm

Jerry Bradley She don't cook she obeys McDonald's.
Like · November 6 at 1:47pm

Michael Z. Williamson Sell them at a used goods store, you stupid bint.
Like · Just now

~~

ZOMFG!  LOOK AT ALL THOSE VIOLENT KNIVES!

Europe Again, November
Nov 06, 201401:43PM

Category: General

If you are in Western Europe, I'll be at Spangdahlem Air Base's SciFi Con again this year, on 15 November.

On the 16th, I'll be signing books at the American Book Center in Amsterdam.

In between, I'll be in Belgium, Luxembourg and the Netherlands.

Email me and we might be able to meet up.

A Post Election AAR
Nov 05, 201412:04AM

Category: Politics

It seems the GOP can learn eventually, after enough idiots legitimately rape their own party's chances.  Very few of them mentioned abortion, rape or god crap this time around, and they won. Hopefully the lesson sticks.  People don't want to hear about abortion, rape or god crap, and no one really cares if teh gheys marry.

And there's a point here.  With those issues gone, the DNC had very little to offer, and got beaten like a cheap rubber doll at a sadists' convention.

A "Friend" of mine who identifies as "liberal" was bleating all week about the need to beat the "teahadis" and "libertoonians" who wanted to "Destroy America."

Point A:  I doubt she actually knows any Tea Partiers, only what MSDNC has told her about Tea Partiers.  Quite a few of them are pro-choice, support marriage equality (or don’t care either way) and are females who adamantly oppose sexual assault and discrimination.  Attempting to compare them to Muslim terrorists is ridiculous, inaccurate, and racist (using the left's own logic of "racializing" cultures that are different from our own)(while in a weird bipolar disconnect, insisting such cultures are every bit as good as our own)(oh, right, I get it—they're just as good from THEIR POV, but not from OUR POV. This Is Not Racist(when a "liberal" does it)).

Point 2)  I'm not a "libertoonian," but since I doubt she actually knows the difference between an anarcho-capitalist and a libertarian, I'll speak for our collective selves.  It turns out most of us agree with her on pretty much every social issue, if not the approach to said issues.  This Is Not Good Enough.  How dare we not march in the same formation in the parade?

And this is one reason why the left must be exterminated, by actual violence if necessary. They don't actually tolerate anything.  You are free to agree, or be an enemy of the state. In this regard, they are more dangerous to American than idiot Christofascists, almost as dangerous as actual Jihadis.  Projection projects from their every statement.

Point c]  A complete lack of tolerance for dissenting POVs is not in any fashion "liberal."  Liberals are supposed to endorse social support, the exploration of new ideas, and freedom for individuals.  Conversely, conservatives conserve, and hold to existing systems that work. A balance between the two is necessary.

Point IV. If we assume for sake of argument that America works, has worked for a couple of centuries, and does so better than most nations on the planet or in history—readily provable with an examination of GDP, lifespan, and the Bill of Rights—then the people who want to stick with that system are not "destroying" it.  Now, had she specifically referred to Christofascists, I'd agree with her.  But, "not instantly adopting the curious combination of Fascism and Stalinism endorsed by the DNC" is not "destroying America."  The Curious Combination of Fascism and Stalinism endorsed by the DNC is what's destroying America. And we've held the line against it…for now.

And this is why one should not confuse actual liberals, who are a useful, necessary and productive part of any healthy society, with fascists.

So what should we of the evil right wing do tomorrow and moving forward?

Well, first, I'm going to have my driver deliberately detune the engine of the limo to produce as much CO2 as possible.  Then, he's going to drive me to McDonald's, where I hope the cow was waterboarded before being slowly raped to death, to be mixed with worm and soy by someone earning $2/hr and chained to the machine.  On the way there, I may shoot at homeless people with readily available ghost guns from the NRA Store's ice cream trucks.—This seems to be what she expects proper "teahadis" to do.

Sadly for the DNC, with the GOP in control of both houses, they will not be able to repeat their famous acts of putting an entire race of people into concentration camps, sterilizing the "unfit" or keeping black people as slaves.—This is some of what the Democrats actually did when they were in charge.

GOP:  Learn from 2014 for 2016.  Tell the idiot god-nuts to STFU, and deal with the problems people actually care about.

DNC: Try actually being liberal. America needs that.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/itsallpolitics/2012/05/16/152822762/minority-rules-who-gets-to-claim-status-as-a-person-of-color

From the drivel:

Massachusetts Democratic Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren isn't backing down from her claim of Native American ancestry, despite the apparent lack of primary documents proving that she's 1/32nd Cherokee.

The controversy surrounding Warren's heritage led us to wonder — how much of a racial or ethnic heritage constitutes minority status? Should percentages of a bloodline matter at all?

...

But many people's self-identification remains limited by their skin color, which influences the perceptions of others.

~~~

If only there were some way to compare people against a background to determine if they're dark enough to be "ethnic."  Maybe a brown paper bag?

~~~

From the comments:

"Gage Hutchens • 2 years ago
As a statement of opinion, I believe the cultural bias to favor certain people for admissions to undergrad and graduate school should be based on parental income, not on ethnicity or "race."

And as a Cherokee, I hope that I am able to add a unique perspective to this conversation. What appears most challenging for White America to grasp, is that concepts of one's relationship to the dominate anglo-germanic-celtic culture are not uniform even within ethnicities. Opinions are shaped both by a complex interaction of how one is perceived, and also how one's family, clan and tribe perceives AND the culture stories within the "minority" or subordinate culture as to their role enveloped by the dominate society."

~~~

Wow. As an immigrant from the "dominate Anglo-Germanic-Celtic culture" (Please show me the respect of capitalizing my ethnicity), let me inform you that it works both ways. My English ancestors spent centuries trying to exterminate my Celtic ancestors, and both of them created the nation of Belgium just so they'd have a place to settle their differences with the Germans. But I guess all us white people look the same to you.

Once again, "liberals" prove they are the most racist fucks on the planet.

On SWATting.
Oct 28, 201410:48AM

Category: Politics

The anti-gun freaks who promote "SWATting" are stating they intend for people carrying guns to die from their lies and hysteria. To me, this constitutes a legitimate threat. If someone were to pre-emptively kill one of them, I'd regard it as self defense.

Also, it fits the legal definition of conspiracy--discussion of intent to commit an illegal act, followed by at least one overt act (that need not be criminal itself, merely supportive) (BUT, has been felonious, removing all doubt).

So every member of their group who has made a post or statement to that effect is a felon, conspiring to commit murder.

And until they are arrested for such, it would be completely reasonable to kill them on contact.

This is called "escalation." It's also called "Responding to a credible threat."

Dignity: You're Doing It Wrong
Oct 13, 201409:02PM

Category: Politics

http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/sports/Chief_Illinwek_Will_Hasnt_Danced_His_Last_Dance.html?fb_action_ids=10203991408218066&fb_action_types=og.comments

A white guy pretending to be an Iroquoisan dressed as a Siouxan doing a Kansa dance? How does anyone think this can possibly have any dignity whatsoever?

Though apparently some chick at U of I who's likely Shoshoni, Comanche or Aztec in background (Uto-Aztecan name) found it so offensive 7 years later she says she feels suicidal:

~~~

In April 2014, an indigenous student, Xochitl Sandoval, sent a letter to the university administration (which she also posted on her Facebook page) describing her thoughts of suicide resulting from the daily insults she felt due to the continued presence of "The Chief" on campus, including other students wearing the old image and name on sweatshirts and the continued "unofficial" performances the current "Chief", Ivan A. Dozier at some events. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chief_Illiniwek#After_retirement

~~~

Man, that's a negative dignity rating there.

That would be like having a Chinese guy put on a kilt and horned helmet, dance a polka, and someone in Spain getting offended.

But hell, we're talking about a school that thinks orange and blue are complementary colors.

http://www.sharppointythings.com/knives.html

 
29 pieces.
 
4 more going up today. Sold 3 so far.
 
I won't likely have any more before year's end.  Stock now for Christmas.

Wishful Thinking Knows No Bounds
Oct 09, 201402:32AM

Category: Guns

There are always people who are convinced there is a rational, polite, gentle and civilized way to stop a violent sociopath from raping their eyesockets.

We call these sensitive souls "Morons."

They are the perfect demographic for this idiocy (a top pick among Kickstarter staff!  I always ask the staff of what's basically an auction site for advice on combat):

http://www.donotlink.com/byz3

Now, there are several things wrong with this device.  First is that it's retarded.

What is your goal when assaulted?

Well, actually your goal is to avoid assault, but if you are assaulted, your goal is to stop said assault.

Now, as far as noise to scare off an attacker, you can do that by screaming. If it worked (it rarely does), you wouldn't need this.

Call the police?  Yup, 911 on any phone will do it.

So two thirds of its functions are already addressed. 

But wait! According to the article:

Given the capabilities of the Whistl, you wouldn’t want to set it off by mistake. To make sure this doesn’t happen, Lifeshel has put several safeguards in place. The buttons have to be pressed at the same time to be activated, and they’re touch-sensitive, meaning you shouldn’t be able to accidentally activate it in your pocket or backpack. If you did accidentally set it off, then all’s not lost, as the product’s developer has built in a 15-second grace period before the app contacts the police. Only the user can disable the alert via a pre-assigned security password or gesture.

So, whilst being attacked, or pending attack and hopefully running, you have to press several buttons at once.  Then it starts screaming on your behalf, and fifteen seconds later, it calls the cops.

And no one can shut it off!  Unless, of course, they smash it into the ground really hard. They will probably have your wallet inside of those 15 seconds, and the phone, which will just go sailing over the nearest anything. They may even have your life. Fifteen seconds is a LONG time in a fight, as anyone who's actually been in one (obviously not the white children of privilege who thought this was a good idea) can attest.

As to the 90 lumen strobe, welcome to 1995. The light I carry every day (about the size of a large Sharpie) strobes at over 300 lumen, and I have a slightly larger one at 960 lumen.  In the meantime, they also work as really good flashlights, and cost less than this POS.

Of course, if the attacker knocks you to the ground anyway, you can enjoy screaming in your ears and a strobe migraine while being raped or mugged.  It'll totally add to the experience. You'll be begging the thug to smash it to reduce your own distress.

Look, folks, this is simple:  If someone is trying to hurt you, your options are A: avoid being hurt by vacating the area, which assumes you have able privilege, or 2) find some way to hurt them enough they are dissuaded. Stern letters of protest, boycotts, and teaching thugs not to be thugs don't work.  If you don't believe this, I will be happy to prove it to you.  I will come and punch you in the face until you stop me.

They'll probably sell a bunch of these, and they'll prove as entirely useless as any other device that doesn't shoot bullets.

If the repeatedly proven fact that the more power a weapon disperses, the more effective a stopper it is, violates your sphincter control or tardbrain, go whine on the internet.  But you won't change reality, nor the mind of an attacker.

This product is crap.

So this was an encounter with (If my research is correct) one Matthew J. Carroll-Schmidt, who styles himself MJCS on Facebook.  He's allegedly a lawyer.

I had no idea who he was.  He was at Archon, dressed as Space Ghost, and we conversed cordially for about ten minutes about random stuff until he noticed my badge.

Him: "Hey, are you Michael Williamson, the racist guy?"

Me: "Er, huh?"

Him: "Yeah, I'm MJCS.  Do you know me?"

Me: "I don't think so."  

Him: "I think we talked on Facebook."

Me: "Possibly.  I have 3500 followers on Facebook.  I talk to a lot of people."

Him: "Do you know Tim Bolgeo?"

Me: "Slightly."

Him: "Yeah, it is you, you racist piece of shit."

On visual observation, he appeared to be an overweight, out of shape, middle class, middle aged white male with a small penis (He was dressed as Space Ghost, and the spandex does not lie).

(Try to contain your surprise.)

Which of course perfectly qualifies him as an expert on racism.

This individual is apparently the overweight, out of shape, middle class, middle aged white male with a small penis who shit his panties on Twitter about an out of context comment from Tim's fanzine, call Tim a racist, and got thousands of other members of the Butthurt Little Bitch Brigade to shit their panties, to a point where the concom was forced to uninvite Tim to avoid the deluge of leftist feces. This greatly annoyed a lot of us, who know Tim well. There were discussions where we presented facts and lefticle panty-shitters called us "racists."  Even those of our side who were black.

There were even leftist ignoranuses (that's a person who's ignorant and an asshole) asking why the con would invite someone who publishes a "racist ezine," thus demonstrating that they had no knowledge of the events whatsoever, but were outraged anyway.  

His e-zine is about science (Tim being a retired nuclear engineer), space, SF, people in the SF community needing help, and a few jokes, some of them tacky.  He'll even take jokes about Italian Catholics, even though he's one himself.  But of course, humor is lost on leftists.

I asked, "Are you aware that [well known black author] made statements supporting Tim Bolgeo?"

"Yes."

"So are you claiming to know more about racism than [well known black author]?"

"Yes. I read his [Tim's] blog." [Actually, it's an ezine.]

Aha!  I think we found the racist in the equation.  Obviously that poor black author doesn't know real racism when he sees it.  He needs an overweight, out of shape, middle class, middle aged, racist white male with a small penis to whitesplain it to him.

He continued, "Yeah, so you're a racist piece of shit. A racist piece of shit.  A racist piece of shit."

Clearly, MJCS is a low-Q specimen as well as a low-T specimen.

Now, there are five reasons why it's a really bad idea to loudly and publicly call someone a "racist piece of shit."

First, they might actually be one, and proud of it.  In which case, they'll be pleased with your comment and you accomplish nothing.

Second, they might be one, and not aware of it, in which case, you've negated any possibility of reasonable discussion to persuade them otherwise, and accomplished less than nothing.

Third, it's probably slander, and you might get your ass sued. A competent lawyer would know this.

Fourth, if it's not true, you're pissing someone off needlessly, and they might…

Fifth, beat the living shit out of you and kick your teeth down your throat, especially if you're an overweight, out of shape, middle class, middle aged, racist white male with a small penis.  Actually, ANY of them might do it, and given the provocation, quite a few bystanders might cheer them on.

I chose to ignore this and not get violent.  It was clearly what he wanted, so he could file a lawsuit, sort of like a fourth-rate cousin of his fellow Democrat Fred Phelps. Though to be fair, despite his laundry list of flaws, Phelps was not a racist.

But, I think I might contact the Bar Assn about this behavior. It certainly lent nothing to the dignity of the profession.

Of course, he was assuming a punch or slap and a bruise for a lawsuit.  What he might get is his face smashed into the table and his teeth kicked down his throat, some broken ribs and fingers.  After all, if you're getting arrested, it may as well be for something worthwhile.  If this ever does happen to him, I hope there's a Youtube video.

He then said, "Yeah, so, I know it's an article of faith among your racist subculture that I wouldn't be here. Well, HERE I AM!"

Wow.  Here you are.  Fighting racism by dressing as a white character at a convention that's 95% white people, attacking people with verbal epithets. You should be so proud.

Honestly, I'd completely forgotten he existed.  Twittards are plentiful and my time is valuable.  I pay them no heed.

I'm not sure how he knows so much about any subculture I might belong to, seeing as he seemed blissfully unaware I'm a relatively well-known author in SF, was a convention Guest this year, a Special Guest last year, and have a substantial body of work. Also, I'm a member of three minority groups myself and have a mixed-race wife. I just don't wave the flag about it and call people names over it. (It's perfectly okay for me to call him names, since as an apparent overweight, out of shape, middle class, middle aged, racist white male with a small penis, he's part of the racist culture America fosters, a privileged member of the dominant ethnic group, and fair game by those of us with less privilege.  Also, he had macro-aggressed me.)

I'm not sure how he knows so much about a racist subculture. I know very little about them myself, and even have to ask for help deciphering some of the slang they use, when I read it online.  However, since as best I recall he'd publicly stated he wasn't going to attend, my peer group assumed he wasn't.  We had concluded that if he did show up he'd be an overweight, out of shape, middle class, middle age white male with a small penis, and it appears we were right!

Bonus point: I bet that within five exchanges, he'd reveal himself to be a racist, and either suffering guilt or in denial about it, and I appear to have been correct about that, too.

So I reported the harassment to the concom, who called security and had him informed to stop harassing me.

It turned out he'd been at the convention feedback session, loudly decrying it as an "unsafe space" for women, even though none of the women I know report that.  In fact, they reported feeling very safe.  But, I'm sure as an apparent overweight, out of shape, middle class, middle age white male with a small penis, he knows more about sexism than they do, and can mansplain it to them.

Then, he'd claimed to be a lawyer and demanded details of their incorporation documents, presumably to use it for further leverage against them. That would make him a shit lawyer, since such information is publicly available about a non-profit corporation.  Unless he was doing it for purposes of harassing them, in which case he's a piece of shit lawyer.  But then, what other kind would an overweight, out of shape, middle class, middle aged, racist white male with a small penis who works for "Activist groups" be?  

One of the groups appears to be the "Nonhuman rights project," securing civil rights for animals, or perhaps for people who think they're animals. Such group appears to have accomplished nothing. Otherwise, a search shows no real papers, no real cases, not much of anything. Exactly what you'd expect of an "activist" who's an overweight, out of shape, middle class, middle aged, racist white male with a small penis.

I suggested that they might consider uninviting him for future events, since his presence seems to be disruptive and make quite a few people feel unsafe.  Also, by reducing attendance by one apparent overweight, out of shape, middle class, middle aged, racist white male with a small penis, they'd improve the racial and gender diversity slightly. Not to mention the smell.

This, by the way, is why you should NEVER respond to a Twit-shitstorm.  It only validates people who should have none.

In conclusion, MJCS, you apparent overweight, out of shape, middle class, middle aged, racist white male with a small penis, take this as my warning not to ever approach my personal space ever again, or I will regard it as assault and respond accordingly.

Oh, by the way, there's no need to apologize—the head of the concom did so on your behalf, since civil behavior is beyond your emotional capability. There was no need of him to do so, but he understands manners and civil behavior.

An Old Snark, Reposted
Sep 07, 201401:39AM

Category: Guns

 http://www.uniontrib.com/news/uniontrib/mon/news/news_1n3safeguns.html

 

Handgun testing law misfires

State finding many cheap models pass, continue being sold

By James P. Sweeney  (TRANSLATION BY MAD MIKE)

COPLEY NEWS SERVICE

September 3, 2001

SACRAMENTO -- A tough new handgun safety test designed to pinch the supply of cheap, disposable Saturday night specials doesn't appear to be pushing many guns to the sidelines.

 

"A bullshit, unconstitutional, bureaucratic goatfuck designed to make being in the legitimate business of selling firearms a dicey financial proposition isn't working the way we planned."

 

Through its first eight months, nearly 600 handgun models have passed the punishing firing and drop tests, according to a list compiled by the state Department of Justice.

 

"Guess what we found?  Guns are actually safe to use!"

 

The total includes an unknown but significant number of models that are only cosmetically different from each other -- a chrome rather than blue-steel finish, for example. But it also includes at least 12 guns manufactured by so-called Ring of Fire companies, a cluster of Southern California manufacturers who have been accused of flooding the nation with inexpensive handguns.

 

"These people, who we have dubbed with a moniker in a move that would get us called bigots if we applied one to any other group, are actually manufacturing guns poor minorities can afford.  As liberals, this outrages us."

 

The legislation that required the safety tests originally was aimed at the Ring of Fire, firms such as Bryco Arms of Costa Mesa, Davis Industries of Chino and Phoenix Arms of Ontario.

 

"We tried to put several small businesses out of operation, and put their employees on the street, because we care about people."

 

"They tried to make the test so tough that those guns wouldn't survive, but it obviously hasn't worked," said Bruce Cavanaugh of San Diego, a former president of the California Firearms Dealers Association.

 

"We're smarter than they are on the subject of firearms, because we're engineers and they're paranoid, hoplophobic, illiterate freaks."

 

It's unknown how many guns have failed the tests. Private laboratories that do the testing are not required to report failures to the state, although most apparently do. Manufacturers also can, and do, resubmit weapons that wash out initially.

 

"The test is fair!"

 

Attorney General Bill Lockyer publicly accused at least one manufacturer of attempting to manipulate the tests, and others are known to be carefully selecting ammunition to improve their guns' prospects.

 

"They're actually allowed to specify manufacturer's recommendations!  That's almost like a car manufacturer specifying a fuel!"

 

Gun enthusiasts, dealers and manufacturers say the new law has done little more than create another expensive, annoying paper drill that has had almost no impact on the availability of cheap handguns in the state.

 

"Change the name of the organization, and Sarah Brady is still a frothing freak."

 

As a result, just two years after the handgun measure was celebrated as another major gun-control breakthrough in California, all involved in the debate are discussing a major overhaul.

 

"We want to get rid of it because it's pointless."  "We want to change it so you can't pass it!"

 

"We are very concerned about some of the guns that are on the (approved) list and some of the loopholes that we overlooked," said Luis Tolley of the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, which sponsored the legislation.

 

"We are concerned that people are still selling guns.  All lies aside, that's why we're here.  No one should have guns except the Kennedys and our bodyguards. Whenever we get proven to be raving idiots, we claim someone exploited a 'loophole,' kinda like that loophole in the Constitution that allows them to say bad things about us."

 

Said Chuck Michel, a San Pedro attorney for the California Rifle and Pistol Association, "There is a fix-it bill pending because they recognize there are a lot of problems."

 

"I'm being misquoted to make it sound as if I support this idiocy."

 

But Tolley and others say the number of guns on the list also reflects design improvements inspired by the law.

 

"To save face, we'll claim that any perceived good is our doing, even on guns designed thirty years ago."

 

The Brady Campaign, formerly Handgun Control, had been pushing for at least three years for legislation to curb production and sales of inexpensive, easily concealed handguns.

 

"How dare poor people in bad neighborhoods where the cops are loathe to go, defend themselves instead!"

 

Such a law proved difficult to draft, and the gun-control movement ultimately settled for Senate Bill 15, which passed amid the post-Columbine fever of 1999. The measure decreed a series of safety tests, although supporters offered little evidence that many people were being killed or injured because handguns were poorly made.

 

"We like dead children as a political statement.  The fact that we know nothing about firearms doesn't stop us from being relevant in this case, except among engineers, shooters, weapon designers, corporate board members and other alleged 'professionals.'"

 

To pass, three versions of each model must fire 600 rounds with no more than six malfunctions. Each gun is then dropped a little over 3 feet onto a concrete pad from six directions with the hammer cocked and the safety off. All three must withstand the exercise without discharging.

 

"We set up a military spec testing lab, and the bastards beat us!"

 

Although the legislation was signed in late 1999, it did not take effect until Jan. 1 of this year. Since then, the test results have not followed any pattern, those involved say.

 

"We have no idea what we are actually doing, except pissing in these people's Wheaties."

 

"I've seen what people think is a cheaply made handgun, just because it's low-cost, and it worked quite well. And I've seen a very expensive gun that most police would be happy to carry that failed," said Mike Shanahan, who does gun testing for Truesdail Laboratories of Tustin.

 

"Beretta are crap regardless of how much you pay for them, and people who don't waste time on mirror polishes and hookers to get generals to buy their product can turn out a basic model cheaply.  Either that, or the test doesn't work.  Or both."

 

Dean Wilkerson, who operates a testing lab in Van Nuys, said "it's the luck of the draw" with a lot of handguns.

 

"I wanted to get a soundbite into this article."

 

"I have failed some high-quality guns," Wilkerson said. "You've got to shoot three handguns, 600 rounds each, and two of them passed with no malfunctions at all, and the third one failed because it has seven malfunctions."

 

"I can make an oxymoronic statement about a bad test, and admit that randomness IS a factor."

 

Wilkerson said he has tested a lot of Ring of Fire models. While some failed, more than a few passed, he said.

 

"We say 'Ring of Fire,' because if we said, 'Darktown' or 'Beanerville' people would recognize that we're racist."

 

"They passed with no problem, and there are higher quality guns that didn't pass," Wilkerson said.

 

"'Higher quality' being a paraphrase for 'only available to rich white cybergeeks in the valley who can plunk down seven bills large for two pounds of metal.'"

 

Aaron Davis of Davis Industries said the company had no trouble getting its 12 models, representing four guns, passed and placed on the state list.

 

"Investment casting and CNC milling cut production costs.  SWEEEET!"

 

The guns, derringers ranging from .22 caliber to .38 caliber, passed on the first attempt, Davis said. The guns sell for $100 to $125. The .38-caliber model was redesigned to strengthen the trigger before the tests.

 

"We're happy to sell cheap, useful defensive tools without a lot of hype, and I'm laughing up my sleeve at these fools."

 

"I don't personally like (the tests), but we will try to do whatever they want us to do," Davis said.

 

"Hey, my stuff is STILL cheaper than those imports with the fancy names."

 

In February, Attorney General Lockyer publicly berated Phoenix Arms for allegedly attempting to maneuver some of its guns through the process by halting a test and restarting it with a new set of weapons, and by submitting a specific brand of ammunition. The handgun in question, however, later passed. Company officials declined to comment.

 

"That's as bad as insisting an engine only use 10-W30 oil.  The nerve!"

 

"We have seen some models where they are trying with this ammo and then they switch," said Randy Rossi, who heads the attorney general's firearms division. "They stop the test and try with another ammo, and then they stop the test and they try with a third ammo.

 

"Can you imagine if GM were to try different brands and gauges of tires to see which worked best, depending on the track weather that day?"

 

"We want to know of those situations where a gun is maybe so frail that even the manufacturer has to be very selective as to what ammunition will work well."

 

"We'll flunk Colt because a 1911 won't feed hollowpoints, even though we're more rabidly against hollowpoints than some other ammo, even though the military has never had a problem with it in 80 years, just because it's an excuse to fuck with them."

 

In early talks on potential changes, the Brady Campaign and the Attorney General's Office say they want to require labs to report all failures. They also say the state should have clear authority to randomly test a sample, perhaps 10 percent to 15 percent, of handguns that pass.

 

"We'll make it ten times as expensive!  A hundred!  We'll show you!  Nyaah! Nyaah!  Nyaah!"

 

Additionally, the Brady Campaign wants to allow recalling firearms later found to have problems, and it would like to see weapons tested with a standard, or recommended, ammunition.

 

"Every autoloader has to use wadcutters so we can make them fail, and every revolver has to use overloaded +Ps so the primers unseat and jam.  THAT'S what we call a 'fair' test!"

 

"I don't really think we know, unless we have the ability to randomly test and receive reports from the laboratories, of instances where a specific model has tried and failed, tried and failed, tried and failed, tried and passed," Rossi said.

 

"If the lab isn't giving us the results we want, we'll rig the test until we do get them.  Now THAT'S science!"

 

"But this is a very tricky balancing act because we do not want to discourage manufacturers from submitting their firearms, improving their firearms and then having the public benefit from those improvements."

 

"Obligatory sop to fairness for the semiliterate masses."

 

Dealers and gun-rights groups such as the National Rifle Association want dealers to be able to resell used guns that are not on the approved list.

Such guns can be sold by private parties if dealers process the transactions.

 

"They actually want to abide by the commerce provisions of the Constitution. Those bastards!"

 

The attorney general has told dealers they can conduct consignment sales of unlisted guns, although the law is unclear on the subject.

 

"We haven't found a way to say 'no' that even OUR Supreme Court won't throw out on its ear."

 

Used handguns historically have accounted for a significant slice of dealers' sales and their profit margin is much higher than that for new guns.

 

"They keep dealers in business.  And no gun dealer actually has a family to feed."

 

"They managed to create a monster," said Louis Baldridge, owner of the El Cajon Gun Exchange. "It has not accomplished what they hoped to accomplish, unless they wanted to make life more difficult for dealers."

 

"We have to have a token piece of real reporting in here or we'll get nailed for libel."

 

Copyright 2001 Union-Tribune Publishing Co.

 

"So extremist, even the Village Voice looks right wing."