An Old Snark, Reposted
Sep 07, 201401:39AM
Handgun testing law misfires
State finding many cheap models pass, continue being sold
By James P. Sweeney (TRANSLATION BY MAD MIKE)
COPLEY NEWS SERVICE
September 3, 2001
SACRAMENTO -- A tough new handgun safety test designed to pinch the supply of cheap, disposable Saturday night specials doesn't appear to be pushing many guns to the sidelines.
"A bullshit, unconstitutional, bureaucratic goatfuck designed to make being in the legitimate business of selling firearms a dicey financial proposition isn't working the way we planned."
Through its first eight months, nearly 600 handgun models have passed the punishing firing and drop tests, according to a list compiled by the state Department of Justice.
"Guess what we found? Guns are actually safe to use!"
The total includes an unknown but significant number of models that are only cosmetically different from each other -- a chrome rather than blue-steel finish, for example. But it also includes at least 12 guns manufactured by so-called Ring of Fire companies, a cluster of Southern California manufacturers who have been accused of flooding the nation with inexpensive handguns.
"These people, who we have dubbed with a moniker in a move that would get us called bigots if we applied one to any other group, are actually manufacturing guns poor minorities can afford. As liberals, this outrages us."
The legislation that required the safety tests originally was aimed at the Ring of Fire, firms such as Bryco Arms of Costa Mesa, Davis Industries of Chino and Phoenix Arms of Ontario.
"We tried to put several small businesses out of operation, and put their employees on the street, because we care about people."
"They tried to make the test so tough that those guns wouldn't survive, but it obviously hasn't worked," said Bruce Cavanaugh of San Diego, a former president of the California Firearms Dealers Association.
"We're smarter than they are on the subject of firearms, because we're engineers and they're paranoid, hoplophobic, illiterate freaks."
It's unknown how many guns have failed the tests. Private laboratories that do the testing are not required to report failures to the state, although most apparently do. Manufacturers also can, and do, resubmit weapons that wash out initially.
"The test is fair!"
Attorney General Bill Lockyer publicly accused at least one manufacturer of attempting to manipulate the tests, and others are known to be carefully selecting ammunition to improve their guns' prospects.
"They're actually allowed to specify manufacturer's recommendations! That's almost like a car manufacturer specifying a fuel!"
Gun enthusiasts, dealers and manufacturers say the new law has done little more than create another expensive, annoying paper drill that has had almost no impact on the availability of cheap handguns in the state.
"Change the name of the organization, and Sarah Brady is still a frothing freak."
As a result, just two years after the handgun measure was celebrated as another major gun-control breakthrough in California, all involved in the debate are discussing a major overhaul.
"We want to get rid of it because it's pointless." "We want to change it so you can't pass it!"
"We are very concerned about some of the guns that are on the (approved) list and some of the loopholes that we overlooked," said Luis Tolley of the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, which sponsored the legislation.
"We are concerned that people are still selling guns. All lies aside, that's why we're here. No one should have guns except the Kennedys and our bodyguards. Whenever we get proven to be raving idiots, we claim someone exploited a 'loophole,' kinda like that loophole in the Constitution that allows them to say bad things about us."
Said Chuck Michel, a San Pedro attorney for the California Rifle and Pistol Association, "There is a fix-it bill pending because they recognize there are a lot of problems."
"I'm being misquoted to make it sound as if I support this idiocy."
But Tolley and others say the number of guns on the list also reflects design improvements inspired by the law.
"To save face, we'll claim that any perceived good is our doing, even on guns designed thirty years ago."
The Brady Campaign, formerly Handgun Control, had been pushing for at least three years for legislation to curb production and sales of inexpensive, easily concealed handguns.
"How dare poor people in bad neighborhoods where the cops are loathe to go, defend themselves instead!"
Such a law proved difficult to draft, and the gun-control movement ultimately settled for Senate Bill 15, which passed amid the post-Columbine fever of 1999. The measure decreed a series of safety tests, although supporters offered little evidence that many people were being killed or injured because handguns were poorly made.
"We like dead children as a political statement. The fact that we know nothing about firearms doesn't stop us from being relevant in this case, except among engineers, shooters, weapon designers, corporate board members and other alleged 'professionals.'"
To pass, three versions of each model must fire 600 rounds with no more than six malfunctions. Each gun is then dropped a little over 3 feet onto a concrete pad from six directions with the hammer cocked and the safety off. All three must withstand the exercise without discharging.
"We set up a military spec testing lab, and the bastards beat us!"
Although the legislation was signed in late 1999, it did not take effect until Jan. 1 of this year. Since then, the test results have not followed any pattern, those involved say.
"We have no idea what we are actually doing, except pissing in these people's Wheaties."
"I've seen what people think is a cheaply made handgun, just because it's low-cost, and it worked quite well. And I've seen a very expensive gun that most police would be happy to carry that failed," said Mike Shanahan, who does gun testing for Truesdail Laboratories of Tustin.
"Beretta are crap regardless of how much you pay for them, and people who don't waste time on mirror polishes and hookers to get generals to buy their product can turn out a basic model cheaply. Either that, or the test doesn't work. Or both."
Dean Wilkerson, who operates a testing lab in Van Nuys, said "it's the luck of the draw" with a lot of handguns.
"I wanted to get a soundbite into this article."
"I have failed some high-quality guns," Wilkerson said. "You've got to shoot three handguns, 600 rounds each, and two of them passed with no malfunctions at all, and the third one failed because it has seven malfunctions."
"I can make an oxymoronic statement about a bad test, and admit that randomness IS a factor."
Wilkerson said he has tested a lot of Ring of Fire models. While some failed, more than a few passed, he said.
"We say 'Ring of Fire,' because if we said, 'Darktown' or 'Beanerville' people would recognize that we're racist."
"They passed with no problem, and there are higher quality guns that didn't pass," Wilkerson said.
"'Higher quality' being a paraphrase for 'only available to rich white cybergeeks in the valley who can plunk down seven bills large for two pounds of metal.'"
Aaron Davis of Davis Industries said the company had no trouble getting its 12 models, representing four guns, passed and placed on the state list.
"Investment casting and CNC milling cut production costs. SWEEEET!"
The guns, derringers ranging from .22 caliber to .38 caliber, passed on the first attempt, Davis said. The guns sell for $100 to $125. The .38-caliber model was redesigned to strengthen the trigger before the tests.
"We're happy to sell cheap, useful defensive tools without a lot of hype, and I'm laughing up my sleeve at these fools."
"I don't personally like (the tests), but we will try to do whatever they want us to do," Davis said.
"Hey, my stuff is STILL cheaper than those imports with the fancy names."
In February, Attorney General Lockyer publicly berated Phoenix Arms for allegedly attempting to maneuver some of its guns through the process by halting a test and restarting it with a new set of weapons, and by submitting a specific brand of ammunition. The handgun in question, however, later passed. Company officials declined to comment.
"That's as bad as insisting an engine only use 10-W30 oil. The nerve!"
"We have seen some models where they are trying with this ammo and then they switch," said Randy Rossi, who heads the attorney general's firearms division. "They stop the test and try with another ammo, and then they stop the test and they try with a third ammo.
"Can you imagine if GM were to try different brands and gauges of tires to see which worked best, depending on the track weather that day?"
"We want to know of those situations where a gun is maybe so frail that even the manufacturer has to be very selective as to what ammunition will work well."
"We'll flunk Colt because a 1911 won't feed hollowpoints, even though we're more rabidly against hollowpoints than some other ammo, even though the military has never had a problem with it in 80 years, just because it's an excuse to fuck with them."
In early talks on potential changes, the Brady Campaign and the Attorney General's Office say they want to require labs to report all failures. They also say the state should have clear authority to randomly test a sample, perhaps 10 percent to 15 percent, of handguns that pass.
"We'll make it ten times as expensive! A hundred! We'll show you! Nyaah! Nyaah! Nyaah!"
Additionally, the Brady Campaign wants to allow recalling firearms later found to have problems, and it would like to see weapons tested with a standard, or recommended, ammunition.
"Every autoloader has to use wadcutters so we can make them fail, and every revolver has to use overloaded +Ps so the primers unseat and jam. THAT'S what we call a 'fair' test!"
"I don't really think we know, unless we have the ability to randomly test and receive reports from the laboratories, of instances where a specific model has tried and failed, tried and failed, tried and failed, tried and passed," Rossi said.
"If the lab isn't giving us the results we want, we'll rig the test until we do get them. Now THAT'S science!"
"But this is a very tricky balancing act because we do not want to discourage manufacturers from submitting their firearms, improving their firearms and then having the public benefit from those improvements."
"Obligatory sop to fairness for the semiliterate masses."
Dealers and gun-rights groups such as the National Rifle Association want dealers to be able to resell used guns that are not on the approved list.
Such guns can be sold by private parties if dealers process the transactions.
"They actually want to abide by the commerce provisions of the Constitution. Those bastards!"
The attorney general has told dealers they can conduct consignment sales of unlisted guns, although the law is unclear on the subject.
"We haven't found a way to say 'no' that even OUR Supreme Court won't throw out on its ear."
Used handguns historically have accounted for a significant slice of dealers' sales and their profit margin is much higher than that for new guns.
"They keep dealers in business. And no gun dealer actually has a family to feed."
"They managed to create a monster," said Louis Baldridge, owner of the El Cajon Gun Exchange. "It has not accomplished what they hoped to accomplish, unless they wanted to make life more difficult for dealers."
"We have to have a token piece of real reporting in here or we'll get nailed for libel."
Copyright 2001 Union-Tribune Publishing Co.
"So extremist, even the Village Voice looks right wing."
Now THAT is Customer Service
Oct 25, 201309:37AM
Dear Frankford Arsenal: I have one of your case tumblers, about two years old. I'd estimate less than 200 hours runtime and 10,000 rounds tumbled. One of the motor bearings has worn out. Is a replacement bearing or a motor assembly available?
Mr. Williamson, Thank you for your purchase of our case tumbler. I apologize for the issue you are having with this item. We do not stock replacement parts for this item, however, I have entered an order to send you a replacement tumbler. Please allow our warehouse 3-5 business days for shipment from our facility. We appreciate your interest in our products!
Customer Service Specialist
Battenfeld Technologies, Inc.
EDITED because I was a dumbass and got the company name wrong.
Gah. All over the auction sites and every gun show is some fucking "Parade" rifle or bayonet that's so-called because it's chromed.
It's usually some third rate piece of shit, invariably pitted and worn, with chrome on top of the pitting and marks. Frequently there are pieces missing. There are often scour lines where the original crisp machining has been blurred by someone's buffing wheel.
The proper way to describe one of these would be something like this: "Used, crappy, old bolt ation rifle. Some gap-toothed, slack-jawed, white trash, inbred yokel did a piss poor job of chrome plating it because he'd sucked down too much shine boiled off in the radiator of Pappy's '32 Ford, so his already sub-par brain approached genuine retardation and he thought this was a clever thing to do. It's probably safe to shoot but we don't guarantee it. Fifty bucks and it's yours."
Instead, the seller usually tries to tack $50-$100 onto the top Blue Book value. But ask him for any reference to a "Turkish/Austrian/Spanish/Italian Parade rifle" that was chromed historically, and he can't find one, because they almost never really existed.
There are so many of these things, and they are all so badly done in the same fashion, I have to wonder if somewhere in Appalachia was some proto-Meth head who did nothing but take old Mausers and dip then in chrome as an excuse to snort the acid fumes out of the tank. Or did he just have an equally brain-damaged brother who did cut-rate autobody work and thought it would be cool to toss them into the tank along with the bumpers?
Add these to the list of people to assassinate if time travel ever becomes possible. Those poor old rifles have seen enough battles and rebuilds across Eurasia without being roofied with brake cleaner and raped with chromium sulfate.
Mass Shooters on Military Bases
Sep 17, 201301:41AM
From comments in another thread, regarding, "But the commanders know better than you, and don't want troops armed when they have no need of a weapon":
Retired military. My service is a matter of public record on my site, Wikipedia, and the dozens of people on Baen's Bar who've met me personally.
A rational person would observe that the military members at WNY did, in fact, need weapons this morning, and did not have them.
Will there be potential incidents if troops are armed all the time? Likely. Those have to be balanced against ongoing, increasing threats.
It seems unlikely there'd be more violence at a stateside base, than in the war zone where everyone is under severe stress. The number of incidents there is few. So we can expect there to be fewer here.
There could be some incidents of weapon loss or theft, but the cost/benefit analysis makes those really unimportant overall. They'd be less significant than losses from police evidence lockers.
Keep in mind all those troops and personnel are unarmed from home to duty and back again. A simple surveillance will provide all kinds of terror targets, as was done in Europe during the Cold War.
Also, it is impossible to secure against such threats. You cannot disassemble and cavity search every vehicle and person entering. Any response must contain a reactive component. A reactive component requires armed force in the immediate area to the hostile.
If only the military could find a large number of people trained with weapons to be on hand to respond...
"But Mike, we've kept making ourselves more and more helpless, and we're still getting attacked! What can we do?"
"Stop being pussies."
Sarcasm aside, if you can't trust an officer or NCO with a sidearm, as every Barney Fife cop in America is trusted, then either we need better recruiting standards, or you need therapy. I'm betting on the latter.
If there were statistically an armed NCO in every duty section, there'd be a lot less of this, because the shooters don't want to die until AFTER the make their statement.
Consider also that anyone working on base, or living off base, is guaranteed to be defenseless from home to gate and back. Easy pickings for some future terrorist (and this is an easy prediction, because it happened several times in Europe during the Cold War).
An "Armed Force" actually needs to be, you know, an ARMED FORCE.
False Arguments For Gun Control
Sep 16, 201301:26AM
"Guns can kill" is a completely dishonest argument. Alcohol kills, and people under the influence of alcohol kill, more people than guns, even with the laws on the books. Alcohol serves no valid non-medical purpose in society. If it's about saving life, we should be pushing to ban booze...which was tried disastrously.
AIDS spread by gay men kills more people than guns. Would it be unreasonable to require blood tests before engaging in such behavior? Nor does society as a whole particularly benefit from unsafe sex outside of wedlock.
"People die" is a completely invalid and dishonest justification for restricting rights, and SCOTUS says so. Such arguments were tried for booze, for porn, for AIDS, for any number of things.
So I won't even entertain such arguments.
However, I can argue that if we assume that all guns magically disappeared, and none of those dead were killed in some other fashion, it would still take 1000 years of so-called "gun deaths" to equal the body count the Nazis managed in under a decade.
So against the possibility that the US just might be ruled by some murderous nutjob some time in the next 750 years, I will not only keep all my guns, I will seek more, and I will seek bigger guns that shoot more bullets.
For the children.
A Word on Subject Matter
Apr 27, 201307:08PM
California has a ban on 30 round standard capacity magazines (which they dishonestly call "high capacity").
But, if you have a an AR15 in .50 Beowulf caliber, then that same magazine holds 10 rounds, and is a 10 round magazine. Even if you could put 30 rounds into it in 5.56mm. So, call it a ".50 Beowulf magazine," and it's legal. Call it an "AR15 magazine" and it's not. Even if it's the same magazine.
If you are not a professional in this field, and pass a law, we who are professionals will find a way around it, and will.
Because fuck you, that's why.
I have been asked for an opinion on the above poll, showing "90% of Americans support background checks," and how I would respond to people who cite it. It also asks what people think of armed guards in school, and how effective they think it would be.
The question shown is simplistic and without context, and is a straw man.
Would it matter? 90% of Americans used to support slavery. 90% used to support bans on "pornography" that included the Kama Sutra. It's nice that they have a poll. I have a Constitution.
And what untrained amateurs think of security protocols is uninteresting to me.
As far as "guns sold on the internet," they either must go through an FFL, or be sold face to face, if private, much like they were when such ads were placed in newspapers. So the question here is: Why do you hate the internet? Why do you hate modern communication?
Can someone make a sale to someone illicit anyway? Yes. You know what we call those people? Criminals. And guess what? THEY DID THAT ANYWAY, and will do it anyway. That's what it means to be a criminal.
But when they drag your ass away for selling or possessing unlicensed milk that wasn't properly pasteurized, etc, "for the children," don't expect any sympathy. When they jail you for tax evasion over the "Garage sale loophole," no sympathy. It's what you voted for and wanted.
Nor can you ever complain about TSA, who checks travelers to "keep us safe" and "protect the children." If it prevents just one bomb, won't it be worth it?
And next time, try having a clue what you're talking about before engaging in debate.
Just How Vomitous is Cuomo?
Feb 17, 201307:09AM
Here is a list of just some of the crimes NY finds less offensive than owning a standard capacity AR or Glock magazine (a class D felony).
If you believe that owning a magazine for a common gun is worse than anything below, please kill yourself at once.
120.70 - Luring a child | E Felony
121.11 - Criminal obstruction of breathing or blood circulation | A Misdemeanor
125.10 - Criminally negligent homicide | E Felony
130.20 - Sexual misconduct | A Misdemeanor
130.25 - Rape 3rd degree | E Felony
130.40 - Criminal sexual act 3rd degree | E Felony
130.52 - Forcible touching | A Misdemeanor
130.53 - Persistent sexual abuse | E Felony (repeat child molester, must be caught and convicted in two separate cases before the charges even reach this level)
130.65A - Aggravated sexual abuse 4th degree | E Felony
130.85 - Female genital mutilation | E Felony
135.05 - Unlawful imprisonment 2nd degree | A Misdemeanor
135.10 - Unlawful imprisonment 1st degree | E Felony
135.45 - Custodial interference 2nd degree | A Misdemeanor
135.50 - Custodial interference 1st degree | E Felony
135.55 - Substitution of children | E Felony (switched at birth type of thing)
135.60 - Coercion 2nd degree | A Misdemeanor
150.01 - 5th degree Arson | A Misdemeanor
150.05 - 4th degree Arson | E Felony
178.10 - 4th degree Criminal diversion of prescription medications and prescriptions | A Misdemeanor
178.15 - 3rd degree Criminal diversion of prescription medications and prescriptions | E Felony
220.28 - Use of a child to commit a controlled substance offense | E Felony
240.05 - Riot 2nd degree | A Misdemeanor
240.06 - Riot 1st degree | E Felony
240.08 - Inciting to riot | A Misdemeanor
240.10 - Unlawful assembly | B Misdemeanor
240.15 - Criminal anarchy | E Felony
240.20 - Disorderly conduct | Violation
240.61 - Placing a false bomb or hazardous substance 2nd degree | E Felony
250.45 - Unlawful surveillance 2nd degree | E felony (Hidden cams for sexual gratification)
255.25 - Incest 3rd degree | E Felony
263.11 - Possessing an obscene sexual performance by a child | E Felony
263.16 - Possessing a sexual performance by a child | E Felony
HOW TO BUILD A FUNCTIONAL STEAMPUNK AK47 IN YOUR GARAGE
Dec 18, 201212:52AM
Because I can do that.
And guns aren't going away.
The press exacerbates these lunatics by giving them coverage. "WORST SHOOTING IN HISTORY!! SHOOTER (INSERT NAME) WAS SUCH A NICE BOY!! EVERYONE SHOCKED!! LOOK AT ALL THE BLOOD!! INTERVIEWS WITH BYSTANDERS! EXPERTS! OUTRAGE! SADNESS!"
The losers with the mindset to do it are encouraged. "Everyone will know who I am! I will be FAMOUS!" Their lives have no meaning, and this gives them a way that works with their sociopathic needs.
What I want to see:
"Some piece of shit attacked a group of people. Someone shot him dead. A dozen drunks went over and pissed on the body. Per Public Law 2012-t56A, the body was tossed into a nearby outhouse and prune stew served to the aid workers. No, we won't tell you his name. He's Dead Asshole Number 12."
Either that, or some citizen beating the punk to death and smearing his brains across 50 feet of roadway, to be sluiced off by the fire department.