Actually, sitting at my desk. Phone rings.
Neighbor: "Meet me out front. Bring a pistol."
Me: Grabs Glock 34, heads outside.┬á "What's up?"
Neighbor: "Crazy bitch just shot at one of my customers in the shop. She ran up into the woods. The police are looking."
Me: "Hold this." Hands pistol over.┬á Goes inside. Retrieves something more authoritative than 9mm, with more range, and shall we say, more fire control options. Goes back out.┬á "So next time, tell me the threat and I'll make the loadout decision."
Both: Watch the treeline while he talks to sheriff dept, who had already arrived in four minutes from his call, before he came over, with 15 officers and two drones.
Me: Calls wife who's napping. "Keep Small Person inside, just in case."
Both: Continue to watch treeline for armed, crazy woman while police report in.┬á Neighbor explains.┬á Guy came for some Jeep work. Ex wife drove up, shot at him, fled. Hilarity ensues. 5'1", 40ish, dark hair.
Cops: Report suspect in custody.
And that, boys and girls, is why I keep a few fucking guns on hand.