Actually, sitting at my desk. Phone rings.

Me: "Hello?"

Neighbor: "Meet me out front. Bring a pistol."

Me: Grabs Glock 34, heads outside.  "What's up?"

Neighbor: "Crazy bitch just shot at one of my customers in the shop. She ran up into the woods. The police are looking."

Me: "Hold this." Hands pistol over.  Goes inside. Retrieves something more authoritative than 9mm, with more range, and shall we say, more fire control options. Goes back out.  "So next time, tell me the threat and I'll make the loadout decision."

Both: Watch the treeline while he talks to sheriff dept, who had already arrived in four minutes from his call, before he came over, with 15 officers and two drones.

Me: Calls wife who's napping. "Keep Small Person inside, just in case."

Both: Continue to watch treeline for armed, crazy woman while police report in.  Neighbor explains.  Guy came for some Jeep work. Ex wife drove up, shot at him, fled. Hilarity ensues. 5'1", 40ish, dark hair.

Cops: Report suspect in custody.


And that, boys and girls, is why I keep a few fucking guns on hand.