I was at the Christmas Party for the Indiana Filmmaker's Network and the state film commission.  And my badges says I'm a military consultant, among other things.

Grizzled Old Fat Guy With Beard:  "What qualifies you to be a military consultant?"

Me:  "Lots of research, and 25 years of service."

GOFGWB:  "What branch?"

Me:  "Army and Air Force."

GOFGWB:  "Oh, I'm sorry."

The following went through my head in .0035 seconds.

Gee, let me guess, you used to be a Marine, right?  One term of service, four years, in a support MOS, during the Cold War, with no trigger time, nor even any time in anywhere remotely hot.  And you never actually did anything with the Air Force, you just want to jerk your dick about how you were once a Marine, trying to recapture the glory that 80 lbs and God knows how much booze has stolen from you.  I mean, I've been downrange twice, in support, and don't make a big deal about it, and cleaned up after a major national disaster, and put in 6 years active and 19 Reserve, including a bunch of extra duty I didn't need to, as well as volunteering for said mobilizations.  I'm Retired Reserve, still subject to recall, and can still meet the physical requirements and pass the PT test for both branches. But you used to be a Marine.  So I guess that shows me.

Two minutes of polite conversation proved I batted 1.000.

Hey, Usetabe:  Fuck you.