I told my friends this needed to be a thing.
Dick Evans came up with this script:
This is Old Spice, this is New Spice, These are the Spice girls (BANG BANG BANG) - That's Splatter Art! Old Spice!
This is me offending you with out deodorant. This is me doing the exact same thing with deodorant on! Guess where.
This is me on a horse that's now a Unicorn, this is me having my way with the unicorn... actually that's it. Old Spice
Now someone needs to film it.