(8:54:07 PM) EvlPenguin: hmm, interesting question.  if the US military had a time traveling military unit, what service would it belong to?
(8:55:07 PM) OnyxHawke: you'd want the airstrip for getting the Delorean up to 88mph
(8:56:16 PM) mzmadmike: yeah, AF takes everything tech, and I'll explain why:
(8:56:44 PM) mzmadmike: The Navy has to assign everything to "Surface" or "Sub."  Surface wouldn't know how to deal with it, and would never let sub have it.
(8:56:52 PM) OnyxHawke: because they can convince people they pay $5000 for toilet seats.
(8:56:55 PM) Monika: we're smart enough to A/C the comps?
(8:56:58 PM) mzmadmike: The Marines wouldn't know where Mickey's hand was.
(8:57:38 PM) mzmadmike: And the Army can manage to take brilliantly designed rifles and trucks and destroy them.  They'd try to fix a time machine with a hammer.

"Okay, Mr President. We have your long form birth certificate, but there's a problem."

"What's that?"

"It's faded, sir.  Badly.  It'll show with forensics exams, but scans are almost invisible."

"Well, we all know it's legit."

"Of COURSE we do, sir."  wink.

"No, no, it's legit.  My father paid a lot of money to have that and my birth announcement made up, in case I ever ran for president and needed them.  They're as legit as Kerry's purple hearts."

"Yes, sir."

"What I mean is, can you just clean up the scan?"

"I'm sure that's not a problem, sir."

LATER:

"Dammit, Carney (why do you have that name?), someone did a crappy job in Photoshop.  Even people who weren't against me are questioning it.  What are these 'artifacts' they talk about?"

"I don't know, sir. We hired some college kid."

"Computers, Carney. You hire high school kids for that kind of work.  How can we fix this?"

"I've got it, sir."

"Yes, Daley?"

"We'll announce that 0sama bin Laden is dead.  Then we'll say he was buried at sea.  No need to document the body.  That way, we draw attention back away from the birther issue, we can create the 'deather' issue, so your opposition looks even more loony."

"That's good. When should we do it?"

"Well, sir, if you wait until tonight at just after 9, we can pre-empt Trump's show and make him look like an impotent dweeb as well."

"Excellent.  Do it."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEPlZYp5-Pk&feature=player_embedded Meg Whitman hands Jerry Brown her ass for him to hand her.

And a most awesome demotivator.

https://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/demotivational-posters-family-planning.jpg