I get less harassment at security when entering the Pentagon than an airport.

I'm waiting for some TSA fellator to explain why this is so.
TSA--The Only Government Agency That Offers A Reacharound.
Language and comments follow.

So, the TSA (Teenage Sexual Assault) has new requirements for traveling. Either A) have your gonads exposed to ionizing radiation and gawked at on screen, or 2: Have them felt up.

I regard this as unacceptable.

What follows is some brainstorming between myself and others on responses that may work as civil disobedience.

We have ruled out ideas such as urinating on oneself and the searcher, wearing steel jockstraps, etc. Peeing on the searcher could be considered felony battery. It also means youΓÇÖll be very uncomfortable until you can change. Reinforced clothing will simply get you a strip search. These will not help.

Consider, though:

ΓÇ£IΓÇÖm a radiologist. Did you know that long term exposure near those machines causes sterility and impotence?ΓÇ¥

ΓÇ£I bet all the new hires are queer, huh?ΓÇ¥

ΓÇ£Damn, thatΓÇÖs hot.ΓÇ¥

ΓÇ£That feels familiar. Do you go to the glory hole at Chester Street?ΓÇ¥

ΓÇ£Does it bother you that IΓÇÖm gay? Or do you prefer I not say, like my friend over there?ΓÇ¥

ΓÇ£You know, porn actors get paid a lot better to touch other guysΓÇÖ junk.ΓÇ¥

(LOUDLY): ΓÇ£OH, YEAH! YouΓÇÖve done this before!ΓÇ¥

ΓÇ£Were you queer before you worked here, or only after feeling all these hot cocks?ΓÇ¥

ΓÇ£I used to be a man/woman. Can you tell how good the surgery was?ΓÇ¥

ΓÇ£Hey, how do I compare to my buddy, size wise?ΓÇ¥

ΓÇ£Bom chicka wow wow!ΓÇ¥

ΓÇ£You better go down the front as well. You missed a spot right over my rod.ΓÇ¥

ΓÇ£Have you had your hepatitis shots? Neither have I.ΓÇ¥

ΓÇ£You may not want to do that. I have the clap.ΓÇ¥

By the way, there ARE inexpensive devices designed to keep the male member erect while walking or standing. TheyΓÇÖre non-metallic and shouldnΓÇÖt register on an scanner. Present them with something ΓÇ£Hard and pumping and indefatigably steely.ΓÇ¥ Then grind into the search.

What about wearing a kilt, naturally without undies? Will naked manflesh make them wince? What about applying some lotion in the restroom right before entering security? ΓÇ£Yeah, if you feel some moisture, itΓÇÖs probably an open sore.ΓÇ¥

The regs state you will be inspected by someone of the gender you present as, unless you ask otherwise (This doesnΓÇÖt always happen, but is the reg). What about some hero stepping up in bad drag? Preferably sweaty and overweight. Regardless of whom they select, request the other gender.

Now, letΓÇÖs consider if theyΓÇÖre feeling up a teenage or younger girl or boy, and the child slaps or punches them. Are they really going to arrest a child? If not, we can instruct all children to slap, punch, trachea-strike them? If so, theyΓÇÖve escalated a lot. I canΓÇÖt see myself standing still while some clown tries a takedown on my daughter. I Say ΓÇ£triesΓÇ¥ because she has some experience in that, and if he patronizingly just grabs her thereΓÇÖs a good chance he (or she if the goon is a dyke) will be on the floor first. What I would hope happens is that the child jabs the goon in the trachea. If the goon goes after the kid, the parent literally kicks their jaw off their face. After that, file charges for sexual assault of a minor and a civil suit, so besides having to eat baby food, the goon looks like a zombie and is unemployable on the sex offender registry. Or do they REALLY think they can find 12 jurors, none of whom will regard it as reasonable self defense of the child and acquit the parent? And will they REALLY attempt to file criminal charges against a minor for hitting someone for grabbing their pubes? ΓÇ£Yes, dear, only doctors, Mommy, Daddy, and uniformed government agents are allowed to touch you there, and you should NEVER go off somewhere private with an adult unless theyΓÇÖre a uniformed government agent.ΓÇ¥

I donΓÇÖt think so, cockfag.

(IΓÇÖm assuming at this point that everyone who works for the TSA is a homo or a dyke. If they have a job where they get paid low wages to grope non-criminalsΓÇÖ genitals, theyΓÇÖre either pathetic and desperate, or faggots.)(And the offensive terminology is deliberate. A gay man consorts with other gay men. Grabbing non-consenting adults or children makes one a faggot.)

Also, donΓÇÖt forget off duty harassment. ΓÇ£Oh, you work for TSA? You fucking child-molesting faggot. Get away from me.ΓÇ¥

Make them hate their jobs. If theyΓÇÖre honest, it gives them a reason to refuse to comply with outrageous regulations. If not, it encourages them to quit and find something more respectable, like sucking off Asian sailors in Long Beach.

Before any idiot sounds off about ΓÇ£It keeps us safe/youΓÇÖll complain when someone blows up a plane/you have no right to fly,ΓÇ¥ IΓÇÖm going to point out that ΓÇ£body packingΓÇ¥ has already been used frequently for smuggling and at least once for a bomb. So unless youΓÇÖre prepared to have someone shove a lubed fist up your ass in the name of ΓÇ£security,ΓÇ¥ donΓÇÖt waste your time posting. If you are prepared for that, seek therapy, and donΓÇÖt waste your time posting.
I was heading for Jack's today to help with some cleaning and shoving.

He sounded bad on the phone. By the time I got there, he was convulsive. So his neighbor (A stunningly gorgeous disabled vet) and I shoved him into my van and I hauled him to the VA, while Gail brought the Buick from the other direction, because my van will not fit in a 6'8" parking rampand there's no outside parking to speak of.

I hauled him out in a heap at the Emergency ramp, and three people went sprinting for wheelchairs. Gail arrived and swapped vehicles.

It wasn't a long wait, and we have another visit on file. Doc came in, prescribed a painkiller and an anti-anxiety shot. Pulse came down from 85 to 61, BP from 160/85 to 120/75.

Jack was unable to communicate beyond nod and shake and mumble. I can translate reasonably well in context. Even a dim red penlight on his pupils elicited moans and thrashing.The observation room was dark, curtain drawn, and he still had a towel over his eyes. The trip in sunlight had to be excruciating.

He did not remember how he got there, or the shots from the hot blonde nurse.

I took him home two hours later, giddy on what he calls "hippie drugs."

The good news: He's well documented as having seizure episode headaches. He can go to his primary care physician to renew the previous scrip, which worst case should mean they mail him drugs, best case means I go in with him next week and talk to the doc about little details--such as the diagnosed "depressive order" and something else are possible, but I think the CRIPPLING CONVULSIVE HEADACHES might need priority.

Also, the Patient Advocate may be able to assist in expediting things.

This is all part of dealing with a federal bureaucracy, which most of us can figure out with effort, but when you're in screaming pain, asking "help" and being told, "we don't do that here, go see X" is a brick wall.

Also, someone active duty hunted up the regs for me. Diagnosis of a "personality disorder" requires professional testing by a pshrink. The Army did not do this, and apparently doesn't in about 40% of cases. A number of assholes in a number of units use it as a convenient excuse to toss people they don't want to do with. There's supposed to be some kind of accounting on this, but I imagine they'll all play dumb and weasel out of it, the @#$%ers. So, with that in hand and an actual doctor, I'm hopeful the @#$%ing @#$bag @#$er who stripped his benefits, who is neither an MD or a Pshrink, will have the relevant paperwork folded to all corners and shoved up his ass, with backpay of relevant benefits.

Because my friend does not have a "personality disorder." He's had a migraine that's lasted 4 years and occasionally spikes into convulsions that are at least a 12 on the "how bad does it hurt?" scale, and he cannot @#$ing work because he cannot reliably think, balance, leave the house in daylight, or be sure he won't collapse on the street, to be hauled off to the charity hospital, as has happened several times.

Is his personality hard to deal with? Yeah, I imagine it is. I call that a "Symptom," not a "Diagnosis."