http://kjablog.com/sample-booklet-from-2113-stories-inspired-by-rush/

You can get a free sampler at the above URL, and the complete book will have my story, "The Digital Kid."

We're trying for 2113 pre-orders, for the symmetry.

Madagascar:

This is the story of four naive urban socialists, unfamiliar with the processes that feed and support them, winding up in "the Wild."

The Wild is a libertarian paradise where no one has toilets or toilet paper, and occasionally feral creatures eat one of the residents due to the complete lack of national defense or police functions. They throw some bitchin parties, however.

The socialists, in classic fashion, demand to talk to "The people," code for the bureaucrats they expect to handle all their life issues for them.

Meanwhile, a group of right-wing extremist penguins hijacks the ship and head for their native paradise, only to find it sucks a lot more than an industrial society in the temperate zone.

They head back to Madagascar, where the socialists have finally learned to somewhat fend for themselves, but are still dependent upon others for the necessities of living.

Ultimately, everyone winds up On The Beach, with no drinking water, toilets or way to get home, but declare a win because the party is a lot of fun.

The Emperor talks too much.

Luke was clearly never trained in repartee.  As soon as it was clear Emps was going to monologue, he should have just fired back.

EMPEROR:  monologues about the Dark Side.

LUKE:  Forcedamnit old man, are you fucking trying to talk me to death? Shut up already.

EMPEROR: monologues louder.

LUKE: Seriously, dude, the first "Death Star" (finger quotes) got splattered, just like those drone control ships from the Trade Federation.  You weren't even original, and wasted a shit ton of money.  Is your dick as shriveled as the rest of you?

EMPEROR: monologues about "insignificant rebellion."

LUKE: Yeah?  So why did you bring an entire fleet AND a "Death Star" (more finger quotes)?  It's pretty clear you're scared. And why a second "Death Star"?  The first was Viagra Star and this is Cialis Star?  What's next?   Some sort of planetoid that drains suns or something? How original.

EMPEROR: Angrily monologues about the power of the Dark Side.

Luke:  Are you still blathering?  If it's so damned powerful, why the shriveled face, shriveled dick, reliance on mundane weapons and unoriginal thinking? You don't even have a harem?  It's pretty clear why it's "Dark." It's the opposite of "Bright." 'Look at me! I rule the galaxy!  I have to send entire fleets around to get the shit kicked out of them by wookies, retired Jedi, half-witted smugglers and gamblers and bumpkin farm boys.  I'm ugly, shriveled and don't have a woman. I have a creepy relationship with this orphan I helped mutilate. But trust me, this is as awesome as it gets!' You are one disturbingly pathetic geezer.

EMPEROR: throws ruling the galaxy out there one more time.

Luke: Yeah, you keep on with that. It's like you're Amway or something, multi-level marketing your repression.  'Oh, please! Take over in my downline!  I'm all powerful but need help ruling!' What have you done with the galaxy?  Is GDP up?  What about GINI index?  You're like the eight year old bully who steals all the balls in the neighborhood, but throws like a girl and can't bat even with the balls, in more ways than one. If this is the best the "Dark Side" has, I'm yawning.  Rent yourself one of those blue chicks with the head-handles and get blown. When you can accomplish just that, come back and we'll talk. From here, I see nothing worth my time.  You're old and need a replacement.  I don't need you. Go force choke your chicken.

First world problem:  Too much food. Both deep freezes and the fridge/freezer are stuffed, and 90% of it is meat, as it should be.

Complication:  Great deals on meat locally.

Scene: Local yuppie "organic" store, with wild caught sockeye salmon for $6.99/lb.

I say, "We'll take ten pounds."

Meat cutter says, "Ten pounds of salmon?" He stares at me as if I couldn't possibly have said that.

"Yes.  And then some bacon."

The sign specified it was "pork bacon," which is redundant, since only pork can be bacon.

He asks, "Do you just want a 15 lb box of that, then?"

"Sure, that will work."

He seems game, and tags our salmon and hands over a box of bacon.

Back at the house, there's not enough room. So, TIME TO COOK!

We now have 6 quarts of Morrocan chicken tajine, 8 quarts of tomato beef soup, 3 meatloafs, two beef and squash lasagna (since the other person can't eat grains), two more meatloafs, a whole smoked salmon and some bacon.

You know what separates us from the animals? The ability to damage entire ecosystems for dinner.

That's why we're awesome.