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Written by Michael Z Williamson

Created: 26 November 2012

Take an appropriate food--eggs, chicken, steak, or pie, cake, fruit: X

Adding bacon, or chocolate, makes these food MORE AWESOME: X + Bacon = X(qty bacon) or X + Chocolate = X(qty Chocolate)

Eventually, 100% bacon or chocolate is achieved.  This is the maximum coefficient of awesome: MCx(W00t)

The problem comes upon reaching MCx(W00t), some people lose track of the asymptote.

"I should add something to bacon/chocolate to make it MORE AWESOME!"

Sorry, but this doesn't work.  Once maximum awesomeness has been achieved, adding anything else dilutes the awesomeness:  MCx(W00t)-W00t = MCx(W00t)/W00t

Nor does the combination.  In that case, MCx(W00t) X MCx(~W00t) = MCx(blah)

The math proves it.

Maintain your awesomeness.  Don't dilute it.

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Written by Michael Z Williamson

Created: 20 August 2012

MY DRAGONCON SCHEDULE FOR NEXT WEEK, 31 AUG TO 3 SEP

FRIDAY

4:00 PM5:00 PMMilitary SF: Current vs FictionalRegency V - Hyatt(FICTION HAS TO MAKE SENSE)
4:30 PM5:30 PMBaen Book SigningLarry Smith (Bookseller) - Marquis Ballroom -Marriott(I WILL ONLY MAKE THE LAST FEW MINUTES)

7:00 PM8:00 PMBelief Systems in SF 101Fairlie - Hyatt(I'LL BE PLAYING THIS ONE BY EAR)

~8:30 PMBrazillian BBQSal GrossoPRIVATE EVENT, CONTACT ME)

SATURDAY

1:00 PM2:00 PMBaen Slide ShowRegency V - Hyatt(COME SEE WHAT'S NEW FROM ME AND OTHER BAEN AUTHORS.  THERE ARE SOME FREEBIES FOR PARTICIPANTS)

2:30 PM3:30 PMGood war/Bad WarGreenbriar - Hyatt(IF WE WIN IT'S A GOOD WAR.  OKAY, NOT NECESSARILY)

4:00 PM5:00 PM9000 Years of Edged Weapons Pt 1 (Mod/MC)Kennesaw - Hyatt(COME SEE SOME OF MY COLLECTION AND THE HISTORY BEHIND THEM)

7:00 PM9:30 PMDragon*Con BanquetRegency VI-VII - Hyatt(PAID BANQUET GUESTS ONLY)

SUNDAY

11:30 AM12:30 PMAutograph SessionM301-M304 - Marriott(I DO NOT CHARGE FOR MY AUTOGRAPH, AND I BRING SPARE COPIES FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE MY WORKS.  THOSE I CHARGE FOR)

12:30 PM2:00 PMBaen Brunch(WHERE I HANG OUT WITH THE SECRET AUTHOR CONSPIRACY)

2:30 PM3:30 PMBaen Book SigningLarry Smith (Bookseller) - Marquis Ballroom - Marriott(I'LL SIGN ANYTHING, BUT I PREFER IT BE BOOKS I WROTE)

4:00 PM5:00 PM9000 Years of Edged Weapons Pt 2 (Mod/MC)Kennesaw - Hyatt(MORE SHARP MAYHEM)

5:30 PM6:30 PMThe World is Coming to An End!Vinings 1-2 - Westin(TWO EXPERTS, 75 MINUTES, Q&A ON DISASTERS)

7:00 PM8:00 PMZombie 501: The Messiest Ways to Kill a ZombieVinings 1-2 - Westin(THE TITLE SAYS IT ALL)

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Written by Michael Z Williamson

Created: 19 August 2012

I've been hanging smurfs by nooses outside my Pennsic tent for a decade. Everyone is amused. 

During a rainstorm this Pennsic, I open the tent to see some woman untying them and putting them down in the mud. I asked her WTF she was doing, because she was getting them muddy.

"It's no worse than what you're doing to them."

Well, actually it is, because they AREN'T ACTUAL CREATURES and mud hurts them worse than hanging from a rope.

She actually tried to hinder me from putting them back up.

"It's wrong to do that. Children don't need to see that."

Apparently, she's not aware that the children's archery shoot often features Barneys, Smurfs, etc, to be gleefully riddled with arrows.
I told her I'd been doing it for a decade, and no one, including the event staff had ever had a problem with it.

"It offends me," she said as she stormed off.

I said, "So go buy your own damned smurfs and cut them down."

Details

Written by Michael Z Williamson

Created: 15 June 2012

This is my wife's aunt. She's an interesting artist, a good person, and very supportive. Her art is vivid and colorful, and she'll paint you something original for helping out.

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/106940?c=activity

Donate $100 and I'll make you a supporting character in a book.

Donate $250 and you can choose the deaths for the supporting characters,. ;) (subject to rules of the book's milieu)

For $50, I'll send you two signed hardcovers. When Diplomacy Fails... and whatever else I have that you like.